Why am I doing this again

Its ironic i think...my friends complain i never share my emotions. that i hide my real feelings from the world...yet anybody who wanted to no could come here and read a very selective sinopsis of my life....
Look i no that again there is no one reading this....i dont ask for readers nor do i want them...To those who are reading this congratulations u no me better than almost anyone in the world for here is where the inner workings of my brain are blasted onto paper....or screen print whatever

I am not neccesarily any better off than i was before...i mean i have found someone i care immensely about...someone i care so very much for....and i am both lucky and proud to say that she feels the same way about me....and yet i cannot feel at ease in this situation...perhaps last years wonderful glorious events prevent me from releasing these fears....i no not...instead i merely hope that whatever comes my way does not break me...for while the reed bends in the wind i am more like a tree....i either stand or i break...bending is something i never quite learned...

Wow its been a long time

man its been forever since i saw this crappy little box where i pour out some feelings to the general public (meaning like the three people who know and check this blog). Anyway I am really suffering from waves of tiredness...but i feel like things have changed since i last posted...what did i post anyway? Hang on a sec...yes that girl i wrote about found a bf (maybe more than one) since then and ive been being me...u no usual random mood swings and confusing behavior...but hey im still alive and i think i did job of making some new friends in Nawlins (yes that might be code by im tired of assuming things and then getting burned so no mo), and the trip was hella chill. At least im doing this instead of finishing my homework, after all, why would I want to be productive?? MEh college acceptances have been mostly rejections but im glad that i can finally say that at least my choices have been limited.

Maybe its just cause im tired but this has been my least rant rant in a while.